While the research seems clear that being your true self at work (as long as you are being strategic about it!) is better for not only your performance but your mental health, doing so can be risky (as I discussed in my last blog post).
That is, if your organisational culture biases toward behaviours like keeping a low profile, or
“armouring up” to appear strong, it can feel decidedly unsafe to “be real” if your real self doesn’t fit the mould.
If you are a leader keen to promote the kind of team environment that allows for more authentic interaction, but concerned about those larger organisational biases that run counter to your intent, this blog’s for you.
How individuals act CAN change systems. We’ve all heard the quote often attributed to Mahatma Gandhi: Be the change you wish to see in the world. Gandhi’s thinking as a non-violent resistor? Change the system through a moral revolution in values. Gandhi’s commitment to truthfulness, humility, and tolerance formed the basis of an appeal to the moral conscience (the values) of government oppressors. Not only did this approach play a major role in toppling British rule in India, but it also inspired civil rights movements around the world.
The lesson, if you believe in Gandhi’s approach? Being the change you want to see on your team will make you a better leader, help your team’s performance…and maybe even start a cultural revolution in your organisation.
Here are some ideas about how you can lead the change you want to see:
1. Lead the change by being the change. There is no quicker way to kill the psychological safety needed for team authenticity to flourish than a leader who doesn’t walk the talk.
Take the case of Sam (not his real name), a CEO of a pharmaceutical firm. As a younger leader, Sam’s style was to default to control. Clarity was there, but connection? Not so much. If someone on his team didn’t deliver, he’d come in over the top. The tactic worked—to a point. But over time, Sam noticed that people weren’t telling him the full truth. They also tended to wait for him to fix things or make decisions.
Sam said the shift for him came when he realised: I’m not building loyalty. I’m managing compliance.
He started to experiment with some changes to move the needle in his behaviour.
First, he started asking for feedback from people he trusted. What he heard was hard, but helpful:
You say you want honesty, but you look furious when you get it.
You tell us what not to do, but not about how you struggle and adapt.
As important, he started acting on the feedback:
• Admitting in meetings when he didn’t know something.
• Acknowledging when he’d overreacted and apologising—quickly, publicly.
• Sharing stories that weren’t just about success, but what he learned from failure.
2. Clarity first, then safety. Before leaders can build the psychological safety that underpins team authenticity, everyone has to understand what that means. It’s not just about making people feel good, but also, it’s about making expectations clear. People feel safer because they know where they stand. Inconsistency and ambiguity kill performance and confidence.
Sam addressed this with his team:
• The outcomes he expected from them, not just effort or time in the office.
• What behaviours were or were not acceptable (“catching people being good”, respectful disagreement versus passive aggression, hiding behind jargon, or sarcasm).
• Instituting regular team gutchecks on how it was going.
Sam noted, with some wonder: the clearer I’ve been, the more open people have become. Not immediately—it took a while—but once people realised the rules weren’t shifting, they relaxed and brought more of themselves in.
- Tie authenticity to accountability. The biggest fear leaders express in this space? The notion that these two concepts cannot co-exist.
I was working with USA Rugby, talking about the safety needed for authentic communication. After the team meeting, the team captain approached me. Using his hands, he modelled his frustration: KP, this is a young team, and when we make it safe for players to not only screw things up but talk about their mistakes (he raised one hand to signal safety), aren’t we just letting them keep making mistakes? I took his other hand and raised it to the same level as his first hand, and said, It’s not an either-or, but it’s about both.
If someone keeps making the same mistake over and over, this isn’t a failure of authenticity or psychological safety. A lack of accountability is to blame.
Talking about accountability, here’s what Sam said. I’m not interested in “be yourself” if “yourself” avoids conflict, misses deadlines, or refuses feedback. So I’m starting to draw a line that says: ‘Yes, bring your full self—but the version of you that’s here to do great work, not just feel seen.’
What has been your experience with bringing authenticity into the team room?
As always, I am curious to hear what you think!
